A tantrum is a sudden, violent outburst of anger or frustration, often characterized by crying, screaming, and other disruptive behaviors. While most commonly associated with young children, the term can also be used to describe an adult who is behaving in an unreasonable and childish way.
Behavioral examples: These displays can include crying, screaming, defiance, hitting, and a resistance to attempts at being calmed down.
In children: Tantrums are a normal part of development as children learn to regulate their emotions and can be triggered when they are upset or don’t get their way.
In adults: Calling an adult’s outburst a “tantrum” is often a criticism of their behaviour, implying they are acting in a childish manner.
Here are just a few tips to help you cope with tantrums in children…
- Stop, Breathe, React Calmly – When they start screaming in the supermarket or having a meltdown at meal times, it’s normal to feel frustrated. But reacting angrily could lead to emotional and physical harm. And this is never OK. Children respond to how we react, which can affect their behaviour in the future. So try to react calmly.
- Create a distraction – If you think your child is starting a tantrum, find something to distract them with straight away. This could be something you can see out of the window. For example, you could say, “Look! A cat”. Make yourself sound as surprised and interested as you can.
- Don’t give in and change your mind – Giving in will not help in the long term. If you’ve said no, do not change your mind and say yes just to end the tantrum. Otherwise, your child will start to think tantrums can get them what they want. For the same reason, it does not help to bribe them with sweets or treats. If you’re at home, try going into another room for a while. Make sure your child cannot hurt themselves first.
- Wait for it to stop – Losing your temper or shouting back will not end the tantrum. Ignore the looks you get from people around you and concentrate on staying calm.
- Try to understand why they’re having a tantrum – Are they tired? Hungry? Jealous of another child that has your attention? If you understand where it’s coming from, it might be a bit easier to calm them down.
- Don’t panic! Remind yourself that this is normal and you’ll manage it, like millions of other parents have. Oh and forget worrying about what others think when you are in public places. Most people will know what you are going through anyway.
Helpful websites and support
